Black Diamond
by StarrburstNoodles
Summary: "It says here that your last job was being a... exotic dancer in the Tea Country?" I smiled. "You can just call it what it is: I'm a pole dancer." Naruto Fanfiction!


Black Diamond

Chapter One

Wind. Leaves. Fierce and flowing. Falling freely.

This had been a large part of what I liked about this village. I missed the enormous trees, the leaves that floated on the breezes carelessly, and the location in general. Living in the Tea Country for the last three years had been okay at times, but I missed my old "stomping ground." After all, Konoha was where I spent the first thirteen years of my life.

But what I missed most about this place was the people.

For a moment, my feet hesitated on the worn, familiar path. By crossing into the Konoha city limits, I was going back on everything I had said three years ago. The wind whipped through my cloak, making me grasp it tighter as the cloak flapped. I held onto my traveling straw hat with the other hand, the gale threatening to take it away, flowing angrily through my hair.

"_No matter how you feel, you will always have a place here." The third Hokage smiled at me._

The air grew still. I blinked at the suppressed memory that had flashed through my mind. There was no guarantee that the old man's promise would be fulfilled by the fifth.

_Well, here goes._

I took my first steps into familiar yet uncharted territory with uncertainty.

_~{Tsunade}~_

"....which means that we need to keep training the soon-to-be genins vigorously." Iruka finished his report, shuffled his papers so that they were back in order, and stared at the fifth expectantly.

Tsunade folded her hands, leaned her chin on them, and sighed deeply. "Can we take a break now? I'm in the mood for a hot one, and I need to take another look at the mission reports. I'll get back to you on that later, Iruka." She stood, indicating that the 'meeting' was over. "See ya, boys."

As soon as Tsunade was out of her office, she relaxed a bit.

_Finally, a chance to gather my thoughts and be by myself for a while. Having all these shinobi around me does nothing but make me more tense._

She sighed and started walking towards the nearest place that served sake. Walking through the village these days reminded her of how much work there was to be done. Buildings still needed repairs from Orochimaru's attack three years ago that cost the third his life and not to mention that there was a severely short supply of capable shinobi around to take care of business. With all the missions taking out most of the jounin in the city, Tsunade knew now was the perfect time for an enemy to strike. So she had to be on the offensive constantly; if the other countries knew about Konoha's current situation, the entire city could be in jeopardy. War was the last thing she wanted, and she'd managed to keep the villagers safe for the past three years. However....

Tsunade let out another sigh, and walked into the restaurant. "Oi! I need your best bottle of white radish sake ASAP!"

_~{Keiko}~_

Dirt swirls around me as the wind picks up. I am forced to hold onto my garments and luggage with a tighter grip once more. My stomach rumbles, barely audible over the intense gusts. "Damn..." I curse under my breath. With the wind and my stomach being this stubborn, I'll have to seek shelter before I can make it to the fifth's office. My katana clinks at my side as I walk into the nearest restaurant. Pushing aside the curtain, I spot the nearest empty table and plop down, beginning to remove my traveling cloak and hat.

"Well hello there."

I jump in surprise at the voice. It sounded like it came from....

across the table. My head snaps up immediately, and sure enough, there's a lady with a sake bottle sitting across from me.

"Uh.... Hi." I smiled sheepishly. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all." She filled up her shot glass and gulped it down in one fluid move. "Traveling, huh?" I nod. "Staying in Konoha long?" Her eyes seemed to be sizing me up, and I found myself wondering if this big chested woman was into other women.

"Actually, that's what I'm hoping. I haven't been here in a long time, and I was wondering if it would be all right for me to stay here. Since...." I stopped abruptly. "Well, I won't bore you with my ramblings."

The lady said nothing, just slurped down more sake until the bottle was empty. "Oi! Need another one over here!"

"Um..." I said, feeling awkward and wondering when the wind would quit being a bitch and let me go outside again. "So... My name is Keiko. And you are...?"

"Tsunade-sama! There you are!" A woman with short black hair carrying a pig rushed toward our table.

"Tch... they found me. Damn." She muttered. I raised an eyebrow at this. 'Tsunade' saw my confusion. "No one will leave me alone for two minutes. Sometimes, I really hate my job." She explained.

The girl with black hair made it to our table, panting for breath. I scooted over so she could sit down, but she either didn't notice or ignored my action, standing at the table instead. "Tsunade-sama, you can't just leave! You have so much work on your desk! We need to return immediately."

The newest bottle of sake arrived and she started gulping it down at once. "Yeah, yeah. Let me finish this bottle first, Shizune; it'd be terrible to waste it."

Shizune sighed, and finally sat down beside me. "Fine, but you should make it quick."

"Aw, quit your bitching and let me drink in peace. This is why I never want to work anyways...." Tsunade grumbled.

"Uhhhh...." I said, feeling awkward again.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Tsunade apologized, "I get caught up sometimes." She pointed to herself. "I'm the Hokage around here. Nice to meet you."

I started laughing. "That's a good one. Seriously, what's your job?"

She stared at me. "Like I just said. I'm the Hokage."

I looked from Shizune to Tsunade in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Why does everyone have this reaction? Am I not convincing enough? Do I not look strong enough?" She slammed her fist down on the table, and it cracked and trembled underneath her blow.

I blinked. "Well, it's that you look so... young."

Her expression turned from one of anger to practically beaming at me. "Why, thank you!"

Shizune leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Don't be fooled. She's actually in her fifties."

"Dammit, Shizune! Won't give me one damn minute to be happy." She pouted and downed another glass of sake (how many has she had?).

"Okay. You've had enough to drink. You've been here for what, an hour?" Shizune looked at her watch to confirm this. "Check, please!"

Tsunade was grumbling to herself, completely inaudible to me.

A waiter appeared at our table, handed Shizune the bill, and walked away. Shizune glanced at the bill, then did a double take.

"220,00 yen? Tsunade-sama, how many bottles did you have?"

"... I lost count after the twenty-third....."

Something transparent leaked out of Shizune's mouth.

"Shizune-san, is that your soul?" I gaped.

"No, no... I'll be fine... really...." She said in a hollow voice with a blank expression. Her soul continued to float out of her mouth.

Tsunade chuckled in response. "Get ahold of yourself, Shizune. We can pay it off." Then she turned to me. "So, seeing as I'm the Hokage and you want to live here, I think you owe me an explanation."

When we got to Tsunade's office, she walked over to a file cabinet, put a key into the built-in-lock, and pulled out the drawer. After flipping through the files a bit, she turned to me. "What did you say your last name was?"

"Tsukino."

She raised her eyebrows at this, then turned back to the file cabinet and pulled out a single folder that was a little thick. Tsunade returned to her desk and opened the file.

"Ahhh, I see. Just as I suspected: you _are_ the one with the lethal bloodline limit."

I said nothing, just stared expectantly.

"And here's your progress reports from the school.... an update on your parents.... but there's no resumé in here." She looked up at me. "Do you have a recent one? If not, I'm afraid we can't accept you into our ranks."

I opened my suitcase and produced my most recent one. She stared at my resumé for a few moments, scanning it. "It says here that your last job was being a... exotic dancer in the Tea Country?"

I smiled. "You can just call it what it is: I'm a pole dancer."

"....You're sixteen."

"Yeah. I started it last year. I'm pretty developed, in case you haven't noticed. In fact, I'm a D-cup."

Tsunade gave me a look that was filled with too many emotions and questions for me to identify them all.

"If it makes you feel better, I was also a waitress. That was before I got into the pole dancing business, of course."

"I still can't understand why you would want to be an... exotic dancer, of all things. You've been through school and trained as a shinobi."

I cut her off before she could say anything else. "I wanted to lay low. Plus, my allegiance still lies with this village, and joining another country's forces would only make it seem like I was trying to go up against Konoha. And with the way the Tea Country is right now... well, they like their pleasures. 'Exotic dancing' is the second-highest paying profession, next to being a shinobi. So it would make sense that I would turn to the second-highest paying job, y'know?" I grinned. "What? Did you want me to show off my 'skills'?"

Tsunade shook her head at me and smiled. "You might just be the oddest shinobi I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and dealing with."

My grin grew at her words. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

"And you're sure that you want to resume being a shinobi here?"

My grin vanished, and I nodded, all business now.

"Well, looks like we'll have to put you through a little exercise first. Just to prove your 'skills' haven't diminished since you left." Tsunade shuffled the papers back in order, then snapped the folder shut. She smiled. "Sound good?"

I released a vicious smile. "As long as you don't mind losing a few shinobi."

A/N: Hi, everyone! This is the first Naruto fanfic I've done in a while. It takes place three years after Orochimaru's attack, obviously, but I'm ignoring the actual plot line and making my own! woo!


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